Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Blargh Blargh Something Something Blargh

This is going to be a difficult work week.

With a team of 6 and two take the week off, it will be tense. It feels like every caller is angry, tired of long waits, and needs something simple like their password updated because they forgot it and they can't remember how to follow simple password recovery techniques.

Sigh.

Weeks like this drain me the fuck out, and makes the night time seem to go by way too fast. I work a little overtime and I don't get paid overtime. Why do I do it? Because I want to be good at the job.

My head is spinning as my self confidence is doing flip flops because I'm overthinking everything right now instead of just enjoying the moment.

It is weird. Here I am forgetting the simple things in life, in just reveling in the moment and being proud I'm doing something a little different. I hold back when I shouldn't, and I forget to embrace the day.

Sometimes I don't remember that writing and creating helps free me of this anxiety and helps to expose those feelings locked down inside. I want to take it and push it out, make those doubts and disbelief fade away as I remember who it is I am.

Too often do I like to throw up the question, without realizing I have the answer locked inside my head. I'm sticking in the sandpit of doubt while the strong arms of knowledge are trying to lift me out.

Someday I'll sit down and write about my life right now. I'm doing good, I just don't know it yet.

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