Saturday, May 14, 2016

Wait, Everyone Didn't Make Out To Antichrist Superstar Years Ago?

I could go ten years without listening to some of the music I have, and some of those albums I could recite every word when it starts playing. The ones that stick out come from my teenage years. A greatest hits album of Styx is one. Right now I'm listening to Marilyn Manson, and Antichrist Superstar is an album that just hits.

The soundtrack for the animated Transformers movie also sticks out. I only need to listen to one song and then the entire album is stuck in my head for the next week. Take, for example, listening to the opening track on Antichrist and now I know it will be there for a week.

I also can do the same for Smashing Pumpkins. Name any Nine Inch Nails and that is a definitive that it will hit. Music has a way to stick in your head. It must hit a couple of the senses, and that's why it works.

Antichrist Superstar and The Downward Spiral were two albums that I remember making out to with my first girlfriend. We were an odd couple, weirdly goth like. Mostly it was the dark clothing. And I had hair down to my shoulders, so we looked like twins at some points. One time I made her wear the same shirt as me because I thought it would be funny.

How did that relationship end? I'm not 100% on the details, but going by my track record it had something to do with me being a dumbass. It wasn't too long after her birthday and I just called it quits. It was weird, because looking back I don't see why I did it. We were happy. There wasn't any one else that I was crushing on. It just...happened.

Fast forward two weeks later and she meets her husband and father of her children. So, it worked out for her just fine. Me however, the next relationship after that was very...weird. Like even for me. But, that one helped me to learn that dating older women just doesn't work for me.

I actually saw her one day not too long before I moved to Austin. She was in the store and looking old. Gray hairs and all. She just didn't look like the youthful person that I had locked in my memories. She looked like her mother, and that was scary a bit. I could literally say that the image I have for her in my mind was half a lifetime ago.

I like to think that if it ever could happen, I could get to see the lives of everyone that I interacted with after I die. I'd be a ghost viewing their life, either in real time or with the fast forward button not too far away. I could see what happened when we were together, or when I was friends with people because I don't want to limit this ability to just ex-girlfriends, and I can just dance around in their time stream. There is just something about being a ghost in that way that isn't haunting the person, it is more a way of seeing the person completely, from their point of view, and understanding them. A shame that it would have to be after I died, but still.

As this album plays on, I keep getting flashes of memories and I'm getting energized. This album really picked things up and rocked to me then as it does now. Everyone has their music, guess mine is just a little strange like everyone else's.

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