I'm torn some nights between reading a shit ton of books, or sitting down and writing. I put some music on while I write, so I'm going that route for now. If only there was more time at night to do this.
The scattering of my thoughts on the keyboard is interesting to observe from outside of me. I didn't realize it until today, but I didn't check out the scene around me that much at the coffee shop. I was lost in my own world, and was busy focusing on what I was writing. My usual thoughts when I walk in to a room is to notice an escape route, and then check out the people there. There is a game that goes in to my head where I assign roles to people based on how they look and decide what would happen if an emergency went down. I calculate how people would react and try as I can to imagine who I would want to get stuck with in that situation.
There are certain rooms and spaces where this doesn't do well. Take an elevator. The personal preference is to not use one, but sometimes the situation calls for it. Say after a meeting at work where we all jump in for the magical ride up four stories. Cramming many people in to that tiny box is almost preferable to slowly going up the stairs behind someone who is taking their fucking time.
When I walk, I walk through, around, and pass people. While walking. Do I just have that fast of a pace? Navigating through the crowd comes weirdly natural to me, almost as if those years of playing video games to find the quickest path melted in to my visual senses when navigating through people. Add to it years of serving and navigating not only around guests but also fellow servers. Several times it was observed that I was serving like a ghost, popping up from time to time and scaring some people while always taking care of the table. I always felt that as a server, the meal was the star of the show and not me.
Cultivate. I want to use that word in a sentence, but I'm not sure how to entangle it in one just yet. Cultivate knowledge?
I'm distracting myself by thinking about what book I am going to be reading soon. If my thoughts are going there, then it is time to end this for the day.
From the back of my head to the tips of my fingers. These are words of a life being lived.
Monday, May 23, 2016
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Back In The Summer Camp of '94
Sitting in a coffee shop called Monkey Nest while sipping on Earl Grey and judging everyone around me. I'm sure I am being judged as well, considering how sweaty I am from walking here.
I was surprised after walking outside that it was as humid as it is today. I haven't really felt something like this since Illinois, so it has a odd sense of memories trickling in and walks from years ago.
I walk these days more out of enjoyment and exploration of the city, but it wasn't always that way. Traveling around as a child meant getting some miles in. I used to walk quite a distance to school, as well as bike on other days. I need to check on Google maps sometime, but I think the distance turns out to be about 3 miles in one direction, which meant that if I missed the bus I had a ton of walking to do. It used to be just me, by myself around age 7 or 8. When my brothers and sister were able to join me, it would be the four of us all walking in a line on the way there. I don't know if that is how I picked up my fast pace while walking, but I like to think that it was.
We used to walk 4 miles round trip to summer camp one summer, my siblings and I. We had out day planned out during that summer. We would wake up, hang around the house eating breakfast then lunch. We would watch back to back episodes of American Gladiators on the USA network. After that, we walked over to our elementary school where camp took place. Camp was from noon until five, and I forget if my parents would pick us up or if we would walk back.
Camp was great, as it was a mix of kids from the local schools all getting together, divided by age groups. I was in my own since I was the oldest in the family. My counselor was Steve, and we used to joke about him and the next grade level counselor getting together. I remember her beaming about it one day, but I don't think anything became of it. If it did, I didn't notice. That was the summer I met Clare, the first girl who got me to do those nervous, teenage boy giggles. I think our being together lasted something like 3 days. I remember we went to an ice cream shop, the whole group from camp, and I had some delicious sherbet ice cream. I forget the name of the shop, but I did win a free ice cream cone from it for doing something.
My big thing about camp that summer was that the Lion King was coming out or had come out. I protested it, because I felt Disney was releasing too many movies at the time and that they should stop. The radio blasted Elton John's Can You Feel The Love Tonight and I didn't like it on principle. At the end of camp, there was a special prize drawing. There was a Lion King soundtrack. The counselor drew the winning ticket with the lucky camp goer's name on it, and she smiled big and wide as she said my name. I felt everyone look at me and I know I had a look of horror on my face.
Wait a minute, that's how I got the free ice cream! I ended up trading someone else, some girl who was heads over tails for the movie, her free ice cream cone for the soundtrack. I never redeemed that ice cream cone ticket, so I think I won in the trade at the end of the day.
For years after moving to Normal I would pine over that summer, over my friends back in Belleville. Sixth grade was fun, seventh started out just as interesting, and the move to BloNo hit me like a truck. I didn't recover for a while after that.
That was my life over 20 years ago. I grew sick of moving after that, or I had done it enough that I built up a tolerance for it. Bouncing around from home to home and from school to school was just the routine, expected, unsurprising. Maybe that is why I am OK with people floating in and out of my life so much, it just becomes expected. I like to think that it means I know the routine in how to make friends and people. Maybe that who time growing up like that prepared me for the big move to Austin. Or maybe it is training for something later in life. The mind wonders, and possibilities are pondered.
I was surprised after walking outside that it was as humid as it is today. I haven't really felt something like this since Illinois, so it has a odd sense of memories trickling in and walks from years ago.
I walk these days more out of enjoyment and exploration of the city, but it wasn't always that way. Traveling around as a child meant getting some miles in. I used to walk quite a distance to school, as well as bike on other days. I need to check on Google maps sometime, but I think the distance turns out to be about 3 miles in one direction, which meant that if I missed the bus I had a ton of walking to do. It used to be just me, by myself around age 7 or 8. When my brothers and sister were able to join me, it would be the four of us all walking in a line on the way there. I don't know if that is how I picked up my fast pace while walking, but I like to think that it was.
We used to walk 4 miles round trip to summer camp one summer, my siblings and I. We had out day planned out during that summer. We would wake up, hang around the house eating breakfast then lunch. We would watch back to back episodes of American Gladiators on the USA network. After that, we walked over to our elementary school where camp took place. Camp was from noon until five, and I forget if my parents would pick us up or if we would walk back.
Camp was great, as it was a mix of kids from the local schools all getting together, divided by age groups. I was in my own since I was the oldest in the family. My counselor was Steve, and we used to joke about him and the next grade level counselor getting together. I remember her beaming about it one day, but I don't think anything became of it. If it did, I didn't notice. That was the summer I met Clare, the first girl who got me to do those nervous, teenage boy giggles. I think our being together lasted something like 3 days. I remember we went to an ice cream shop, the whole group from camp, and I had some delicious sherbet ice cream. I forget the name of the shop, but I did win a free ice cream cone from it for doing something.
My big thing about camp that summer was that the Lion King was coming out or had come out. I protested it, because I felt Disney was releasing too many movies at the time and that they should stop. The radio blasted Elton John's Can You Feel The Love Tonight and I didn't like it on principle. At the end of camp, there was a special prize drawing. There was a Lion King soundtrack. The counselor drew the winning ticket with the lucky camp goer's name on it, and she smiled big and wide as she said my name. I felt everyone look at me and I know I had a look of horror on my face.
Wait a minute, that's how I got the free ice cream! I ended up trading someone else, some girl who was heads over tails for the movie, her free ice cream cone for the soundtrack. I never redeemed that ice cream cone ticket, so I think I won in the trade at the end of the day.
For years after moving to Normal I would pine over that summer, over my friends back in Belleville. Sixth grade was fun, seventh started out just as interesting, and the move to BloNo hit me like a truck. I didn't recover for a while after that.
That was my life over 20 years ago. I grew sick of moving after that, or I had done it enough that I built up a tolerance for it. Bouncing around from home to home and from school to school was just the routine, expected, unsurprising. Maybe that is why I am OK with people floating in and out of my life so much, it just becomes expected. I like to think that it means I know the routine in how to make friends and people. Maybe that who time growing up like that prepared me for the big move to Austin. Or maybe it is training for something later in life. The mind wonders, and possibilities are pondered.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Random Thoughts and Events
I walked around the usual neighborhoods last night in a very different route then normal - I walked them backwards. Why? Because I wanted to get things from a different perspective, to see the somewhat familiar in a new light. I did it while listening to a new band that I am surprised to find out that I like - Russian Circles. They were an Amazon suggestion and it worked out rather well.
I continue to hear high remarks for me at my job, and actually am going to be determining my employment with them next Monday. It is more of a formal thing were I official finish my training and they can't go and fire me for no reason now. It is welcoming, but not as welcoming of a feeling I get from my co-workers. They have praised me and helped to support me through all the training. I'm going to have to do something for them like make Mountain Dew and Doritos cupcakes.
I realized I haven't made them in a long time. I think the last time was right before I moved as part of my farewell shift at the steakhouse and Gaggle.
Some of my Ebay auctions ended tonight, with some of the auctions going for a little less than what I expected. I'm chalking it up to not having a lot of regular auctions going on and a lot of people not confident in what I am selling. Soon I'll be back to where I was a few months ago when I took a break from all the selling.
This weekend I get to see my friend's band play their first show, I'm planning on going for a long walk before then, I hope to make some more homemade pizza and continue perfecting my pizza dough recipe, and somehow find time to relax during all of it.
Like George Carlin once joked about how TGI Fridays should change their name - HSIOW - Holy Shit Its Only Wednesday. This week has been interesting so far. I'm strangely still finding time to do everything I want, and even have it worked out to find somethings to do that I didn't plan on doing.
My To Read pile of books are slowly going down. There are 5 graphic novels by my bedside waiting to be read, with another 7-8 on top of the dresser. I've gone through 1.5 so far this week, with the .5 being one that I had to toss to the side simply because it sucked. It did remind me of something that I heard Penn say on his podcast recently. It boils down to the idea that he will sometimes go to shows and find himself taking notes not on what he likes, but about how he could do it differently and make it better. It if is good art, you get lost in it. If it is bad art, the artist side of you takes over and wants so desperately to change it. That book, a really bad Iron Man one shot, really brought that out in me. I have some notes that are going to take form and create something far better. I have half of a mind to keep it around, simply because it would make me rage into a creative fit. Sometimes that is exactly what you need.
My roommate and his boyfriend are watching RuPaul while I type this out. I can still hear it over the clicks of the keyboard and the music I have playing besides me. I don't mind, but I kinda am wanting to check it out. That may be impossible without ruining their alone time, so in the bedroom I will stay. It is OK, I have some books and writing to do.
It is weird to plan for a weekend. I'm so used to literally working 6-7 days a week that having two days off still feels like a mini-vacation/weird. I've picked up the habit of trying brunch and day drinking on Sundays, which actually helps to eliminate the Sunday feeling of dread. Actually, I don't think I've encountered that feeling since really being here in Texas. Maybe it was in part due to boredom and the idea that I'm going through a week with nothing interesting happening during the week to speed it up until the weekend. That isn't the case here in Austin, where you are only bored if you choose to be.
I continue to hear high remarks for me at my job, and actually am going to be determining my employment with them next Monday. It is more of a formal thing were I official finish my training and they can't go and fire me for no reason now. It is welcoming, but not as welcoming of a feeling I get from my co-workers. They have praised me and helped to support me through all the training. I'm going to have to do something for them like make Mountain Dew and Doritos cupcakes.
I realized I haven't made them in a long time. I think the last time was right before I moved as part of my farewell shift at the steakhouse and Gaggle.
Some of my Ebay auctions ended tonight, with some of the auctions going for a little less than what I expected. I'm chalking it up to not having a lot of regular auctions going on and a lot of people not confident in what I am selling. Soon I'll be back to where I was a few months ago when I took a break from all the selling.
This weekend I get to see my friend's band play their first show, I'm planning on going for a long walk before then, I hope to make some more homemade pizza and continue perfecting my pizza dough recipe, and somehow find time to relax during all of it.
Like George Carlin once joked about how TGI Fridays should change their name - HSIOW - Holy Shit Its Only Wednesday. This week has been interesting so far. I'm strangely still finding time to do everything I want, and even have it worked out to find somethings to do that I didn't plan on doing.
My To Read pile of books are slowly going down. There are 5 graphic novels by my bedside waiting to be read, with another 7-8 on top of the dresser. I've gone through 1.5 so far this week, with the .5 being one that I had to toss to the side simply because it sucked. It did remind me of something that I heard Penn say on his podcast recently. It boils down to the idea that he will sometimes go to shows and find himself taking notes not on what he likes, but about how he could do it differently and make it better. It if is good art, you get lost in it. If it is bad art, the artist side of you takes over and wants so desperately to change it. That book, a really bad Iron Man one shot, really brought that out in me. I have some notes that are going to take form and create something far better. I have half of a mind to keep it around, simply because it would make me rage into a creative fit. Sometimes that is exactly what you need.
My roommate and his boyfriend are watching RuPaul while I type this out. I can still hear it over the clicks of the keyboard and the music I have playing besides me. I don't mind, but I kinda am wanting to check it out. That may be impossible without ruining their alone time, so in the bedroom I will stay. It is OK, I have some books and writing to do.
It is weird to plan for a weekend. I'm so used to literally working 6-7 days a week that having two days off still feels like a mini-vacation/weird. I've picked up the habit of trying brunch and day drinking on Sundays, which actually helps to eliminate the Sunday feeling of dread. Actually, I don't think I've encountered that feeling since really being here in Texas. Maybe it was in part due to boredom and the idea that I'm going through a week with nothing interesting happening during the week to speed it up until the weekend. That isn't the case here in Austin, where you are only bored if you choose to be.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Space Cowboy
Sleep? Who needs that.
I've always been at odds with sleep. For my sister, she needs about 8-9 hours a night. My brother has to be in bed by a certain time each night for him to get his beauty rest. I say fuck sleep when there is a party going on.
It isn't often that I close the bar down on a Monday night these days. Who can blame me, I was having a good time. I wasn't stumbly home drunk or anything, I was just relaxing and meeting someone.
But my mind is tired, so it is the best time to write something. Let the sleep deprived neurons in my head fire off in ways they don't usually go. Let me break down the wall I put up for myself that takes years off my life.
I've been listening to a lot of Penn's Sunday School and Star Talk with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Listening to both makes me feel smart by association, or at least makes me think to see the world a little differently. I used to always listen to them on the regular back in BloNo, but I've been busy getting to listen to the random music of my iPod that they took a backseat. I finally dug my old laptop out of storage and downloaded a bunch of episodes of each.
With Penn's Sunday School, it is interesting to hear people who think like me talk and explore ideas. I don't always agree with what Penn says, but you can see the trail of where he was thinking to how he got to where he currently things. Some of it sticks in my head and influences me, the rest just goes to the back in storage.
With Star Talk I get to hear more about science and the mysteries of the universe. The universe makes me feel so big, strangely. We might be so small, and we might be a blink in the eye of intelligence on earth, but at least it is our time.
I look to the night sky at times thinking about the ocean of void that I'm looking in to. Looking at the moon and knowing if I was standing on the surface then I would be dead. Our bodies are only fit to survive in certain conditions on earth, but I would rather explore and go out to those areas that are unknown. Let me discover something spectacular that only I've seen and can describe.
I write to reflect what I've seen and experienced in the world, both the good and the bad. All of it is something that will be gone one day, while the sun keeps burning until it explodes. There is here and now, so it is time to start enjoying it.
I've always been at odds with sleep. For my sister, she needs about 8-9 hours a night. My brother has to be in bed by a certain time each night for him to get his beauty rest. I say fuck sleep when there is a party going on.
It isn't often that I close the bar down on a Monday night these days. Who can blame me, I was having a good time. I wasn't stumbly home drunk or anything, I was just relaxing and meeting someone.
But my mind is tired, so it is the best time to write something. Let the sleep deprived neurons in my head fire off in ways they don't usually go. Let me break down the wall I put up for myself that takes years off my life.
I've been listening to a lot of Penn's Sunday School and Star Talk with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Listening to both makes me feel smart by association, or at least makes me think to see the world a little differently. I used to always listen to them on the regular back in BloNo, but I've been busy getting to listen to the random music of my iPod that they took a backseat. I finally dug my old laptop out of storage and downloaded a bunch of episodes of each.
With Penn's Sunday School, it is interesting to hear people who think like me talk and explore ideas. I don't always agree with what Penn says, but you can see the trail of where he was thinking to how he got to where he currently things. Some of it sticks in my head and influences me, the rest just goes to the back in storage.
With Star Talk I get to hear more about science and the mysteries of the universe. The universe makes me feel so big, strangely. We might be so small, and we might be a blink in the eye of intelligence on earth, but at least it is our time.
I look to the night sky at times thinking about the ocean of void that I'm looking in to. Looking at the moon and knowing if I was standing on the surface then I would be dead. Our bodies are only fit to survive in certain conditions on earth, but I would rather explore and go out to those areas that are unknown. Let me discover something spectacular that only I've seen and can describe.
I write to reflect what I've seen and experienced in the world, both the good and the bad. All of it is something that will be gone one day, while the sun keeps burning until it explodes. There is here and now, so it is time to start enjoying it.
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Me and Comics: The Origin Story
I'm reading an old Robin comic where Tim Drake becomes Robin. It is funny, because I remember my mom showing me a newspaper article where it was announced that a new Robin was being introduced in the comics. My mom continues to send me newspaper and magazine articles about the stuff I am interested in to this day.
A few years back, another new Robin was introduced when Stephanie Brown became Robin for a short time in the Robin comics. I remember reading those as well.
And a couple of years later, a new Robin was introduced as Batman's son, Damian. So, all things counted up, I've lived through 3 Robins in my life. Actually, four if you count Jason Todd's time, which wasn't too long before I started reading the Batman comics on the regular.
My early memories of comics come from my uncle giving my family two long boxes of comics. I'm not sure what prompted the giving, but I got in to them big time. There were Uncanny X-men comics, some Batman comics including Dark Knight Returns issue #3, Wally West Flash books, and Akira comics. I still have a small amount of those comics still in my possession. I'm not sure 100% about what happened to the rest, but I did keep the X-men books since I was big in to them at the time.
Funny, I always wondered if I would ever find out what happens to Batman after issue #3 of the Dark Knight Returns series. It wouldn't be long before I had the trade, and can now even watch the animated movie that was adapted from the book.
I remember walking to a card shop called Holy Cow in Fairview Heights. It was in a shopping center that was next to a laundromat that and a book store called Polly's Paperback Exchange. In that laundromat, I remember playing on some old school arcade machines. I also remember a guy and a woman having a conversation about the hole the guy had in his neck. It apparently came from smoking, and they joked about putting things down the hole. It was long enough ago and they were old enough that I can assume that they are now dead, which is a weird feeling in and of itself. There are random people who are burned in to my memory as a child that are now dead. So weird.
At the card shop that acted as a comic shop as well, they had baseball cards in the front of the store. I would go there to get ball cards, and remember buying a lot of Archie cards as well when I was in to that series. In the back room, almost like a closet, were the comics. I remember seeing X-men comics that would be worth a fortune back there. They were high on the wall towards the ceiling. There was a TV in the corner, I think, that was never on. It was as if comics were a half thought from the people running the shop. I visited the shop years later and it wasn't there anymore. I imagine that the business probably closed after the baseball card market and comic book market collapsed in the 90s.
There was a comic shop that I visited in Belleville that was a small walk up the road from where we lived. Fantasy Books. It was there that I saw Magic cards for the first time, and got to witness the beginning of the 2099 books from Marvel. Batman was going through Knightfall, and a new Transformers comic was coming out with a gatefold cover. I read the book at the local Walgreens that had a comic rack next to the magazines. I would walk there to get some things for my mom and then would read the comics for a while.
I remember having an allowance or earning some money and would start to buy my own comics each month. I'm not sure where the funds came from, but to the comic shop is where it would be spent.
Fast forward to moving to BloNo, and there were two comic shops across the street from each other that I would visit. Acme Comics was the first place, and Metropolis comics was the second. I made Metropolis my regular shop until I went to college and the guy at Acme, Jim, convinced me to just go to his shop. I would visit the two anyway, and it was my big decision that I switch comic shops without telling the other one. I found out years later that I had a huge stack of comics waiting for me at the other one until they gave up and just shelved them knowing I wouldn't go back.
Acme was my comic shop for years. When I moved to Chicago for a short time, I stopped collecting comics because I didn't have the funds to buy them. It was almost a year before I had the job and funds to start collecting again. I went back to Acme, and it was my shop for a while longer.
I haven't bought a single issue of a comic since I moved here to Austin. Acme was my store, and it needed my help to survive as a small business. I wouldn't trade my time going in to that shop for anything. It was...wonderful. But as I got older, my need for comics in a monthly kind of style drifted away. I miss Acme, and I miss going in to the shop every Wednesday on my lunch break to collect the week's new books. That was the habit for a different me. The me now is busy trying to sell all his books on Ebay. The comic experience for me now comes in the ability to buy collections at a time that can be put on a bookshelf. the idea of lugging around long boxes everywhere just doesn't fill me with excitement anymore. I do have a small stack of comics that I am saving for myself to have, but it is a short box holding about 100 books. Some of those books are the same X-men comics from years ago that my uncle gave to me.
I'm down to four long boxes left, out of the 10 or 11 I moved down here with. The books left in the long boxes include Batman, Detective Comics, and a complete run of Wally West Flash books. These are the books I held on to until the end because they mean the most to me. My two big superheroes are the Flash and Batman, and that comes from the comics my uncle gave me all those years ago. I started collecting them after I started college and scoured the discount bins for many of the issues. I didn't even complete the Flash comics until a year or two ago. There was something about the hunt for them that was entertaining, and re-reading the Flash books about 3 years ago with the few issues missing was something I enjoyed immensely.
I could get digital copies of just about all the comics I have left to sell for something around $2 an issue. If I win the lottery, that is what I plan on doing. For now, I'm selling them to be able to have some cash saved for whatever happens next in Austin. I've enjoyed the books and the hunts for the books so much. Some day I'll have a giant library, and I'll have all the comics on bookshelves that go from floor to ceiling. That are all organized in a way that makes sense to me. But for now it is time for someone else to enjoy them. It is time to pass them along so that someone else can get the same joy that I had from them as a kid, and that joy continues long in to their adulthood.
A few years back, another new Robin was introduced when Stephanie Brown became Robin for a short time in the Robin comics. I remember reading those as well.
And a couple of years later, a new Robin was introduced as Batman's son, Damian. So, all things counted up, I've lived through 3 Robins in my life. Actually, four if you count Jason Todd's time, which wasn't too long before I started reading the Batman comics on the regular.
My early memories of comics come from my uncle giving my family two long boxes of comics. I'm not sure what prompted the giving, but I got in to them big time. There were Uncanny X-men comics, some Batman comics including Dark Knight Returns issue #3, Wally West Flash books, and Akira comics. I still have a small amount of those comics still in my possession. I'm not sure 100% about what happened to the rest, but I did keep the X-men books since I was big in to them at the time.
Funny, I always wondered if I would ever find out what happens to Batman after issue #3 of the Dark Knight Returns series. It wouldn't be long before I had the trade, and can now even watch the animated movie that was adapted from the book.
I remember walking to a card shop called Holy Cow in Fairview Heights. It was in a shopping center that was next to a laundromat that and a book store called Polly's Paperback Exchange. In that laundromat, I remember playing on some old school arcade machines. I also remember a guy and a woman having a conversation about the hole the guy had in his neck. It apparently came from smoking, and they joked about putting things down the hole. It was long enough ago and they were old enough that I can assume that they are now dead, which is a weird feeling in and of itself. There are random people who are burned in to my memory as a child that are now dead. So weird.
At the card shop that acted as a comic shop as well, they had baseball cards in the front of the store. I would go there to get ball cards, and remember buying a lot of Archie cards as well when I was in to that series. In the back room, almost like a closet, were the comics. I remember seeing X-men comics that would be worth a fortune back there. They were high on the wall towards the ceiling. There was a TV in the corner, I think, that was never on. It was as if comics were a half thought from the people running the shop. I visited the shop years later and it wasn't there anymore. I imagine that the business probably closed after the baseball card market and comic book market collapsed in the 90s.
There was a comic shop that I visited in Belleville that was a small walk up the road from where we lived. Fantasy Books. It was there that I saw Magic cards for the first time, and got to witness the beginning of the 2099 books from Marvel. Batman was going through Knightfall, and a new Transformers comic was coming out with a gatefold cover. I read the book at the local Walgreens that had a comic rack next to the magazines. I would walk there to get some things for my mom and then would read the comics for a while.
I remember having an allowance or earning some money and would start to buy my own comics each month. I'm not sure where the funds came from, but to the comic shop is where it would be spent.
Fast forward to moving to BloNo, and there were two comic shops across the street from each other that I would visit. Acme Comics was the first place, and Metropolis comics was the second. I made Metropolis my regular shop until I went to college and the guy at Acme, Jim, convinced me to just go to his shop. I would visit the two anyway, and it was my big decision that I switch comic shops without telling the other one. I found out years later that I had a huge stack of comics waiting for me at the other one until they gave up and just shelved them knowing I wouldn't go back.
Acme was my comic shop for years. When I moved to Chicago for a short time, I stopped collecting comics because I didn't have the funds to buy them. It was almost a year before I had the job and funds to start collecting again. I went back to Acme, and it was my shop for a while longer.
I haven't bought a single issue of a comic since I moved here to Austin. Acme was my store, and it needed my help to survive as a small business. I wouldn't trade my time going in to that shop for anything. It was...wonderful. But as I got older, my need for comics in a monthly kind of style drifted away. I miss Acme, and I miss going in to the shop every Wednesday on my lunch break to collect the week's new books. That was the habit for a different me. The me now is busy trying to sell all his books on Ebay. The comic experience for me now comes in the ability to buy collections at a time that can be put on a bookshelf. the idea of lugging around long boxes everywhere just doesn't fill me with excitement anymore. I do have a small stack of comics that I am saving for myself to have, but it is a short box holding about 100 books. Some of those books are the same X-men comics from years ago that my uncle gave to me.
I'm down to four long boxes left, out of the 10 or 11 I moved down here with. The books left in the long boxes include Batman, Detective Comics, and a complete run of Wally West Flash books. These are the books I held on to until the end because they mean the most to me. My two big superheroes are the Flash and Batman, and that comes from the comics my uncle gave me all those years ago. I started collecting them after I started college and scoured the discount bins for many of the issues. I didn't even complete the Flash comics until a year or two ago. There was something about the hunt for them that was entertaining, and re-reading the Flash books about 3 years ago with the few issues missing was something I enjoyed immensely.
I could get digital copies of just about all the comics I have left to sell for something around $2 an issue. If I win the lottery, that is what I plan on doing. For now, I'm selling them to be able to have some cash saved for whatever happens next in Austin. I've enjoyed the books and the hunts for the books so much. Some day I'll have a giant library, and I'll have all the comics on bookshelves that go from floor to ceiling. That are all organized in a way that makes sense to me. But for now it is time for someone else to enjoy them. It is time to pass them along so that someone else can get the same joy that I had from them as a kid, and that joy continues long in to their adulthood.
Saturday, May 14, 2016
Wait, Everyone Didn't Make Out To Antichrist Superstar Years Ago?
I could go ten years without listening to some of the music I have, and some of those albums I could recite every word when it starts playing. The ones that stick out come from my teenage years. A greatest hits album of Styx is one. Right now I'm listening to Marilyn Manson, and Antichrist Superstar is an album that just hits.
The soundtrack for the animated Transformers movie also sticks out. I only need to listen to one song and then the entire album is stuck in my head for the next week. Take, for example, listening to the opening track on Antichrist and now I know it will be there for a week.
I also can do the same for Smashing Pumpkins. Name any Nine Inch Nails and that is a definitive that it will hit. Music has a way to stick in your head. It must hit a couple of the senses, and that's why it works.
Antichrist Superstar and The Downward Spiral were two albums that I remember making out to with my first girlfriend. We were an odd couple, weirdly goth like. Mostly it was the dark clothing. And I had hair down to my shoulders, so we looked like twins at some points. One time I made her wear the same shirt as me because I thought it would be funny.
How did that relationship end? I'm not 100% on the details, but going by my track record it had something to do with me being a dumbass. It wasn't too long after her birthday and I just called it quits. It was weird, because looking back I don't see why I did it. We were happy. There wasn't any one else that I was crushing on. It just...happened.
Fast forward two weeks later and she meets her husband and father of her children. So, it worked out for her just fine. Me however, the next relationship after that was very...weird. Like even for me. But, that one helped me to learn that dating older women just doesn't work for me.
I actually saw her one day not too long before I moved to Austin. She was in the store and looking old. Gray hairs and all. She just didn't look like the youthful person that I had locked in my memories. She looked like her mother, and that was scary a bit. I could literally say that the image I have for her in my mind was half a lifetime ago.
I like to think that if it ever could happen, I could get to see the lives of everyone that I interacted with after I die. I'd be a ghost viewing their life, either in real time or with the fast forward button not too far away. I could see what happened when we were together, or when I was friends with people because I don't want to limit this ability to just ex-girlfriends, and I can just dance around in their time stream. There is just something about being a ghost in that way that isn't haunting the person, it is more a way of seeing the person completely, from their point of view, and understanding them. A shame that it would have to be after I died, but still.
As this album plays on, I keep getting flashes of memories and I'm getting energized. This album really picked things up and rocked to me then as it does now. Everyone has their music, guess mine is just a little strange like everyone else's.
The soundtrack for the animated Transformers movie also sticks out. I only need to listen to one song and then the entire album is stuck in my head for the next week. Take, for example, listening to the opening track on Antichrist and now I know it will be there for a week.
I also can do the same for Smashing Pumpkins. Name any Nine Inch Nails and that is a definitive that it will hit. Music has a way to stick in your head. It must hit a couple of the senses, and that's why it works.
Antichrist Superstar and The Downward Spiral were two albums that I remember making out to with my first girlfriend. We were an odd couple, weirdly goth like. Mostly it was the dark clothing. And I had hair down to my shoulders, so we looked like twins at some points. One time I made her wear the same shirt as me because I thought it would be funny.
How did that relationship end? I'm not 100% on the details, but going by my track record it had something to do with me being a dumbass. It wasn't too long after her birthday and I just called it quits. It was weird, because looking back I don't see why I did it. We were happy. There wasn't any one else that I was crushing on. It just...happened.
Fast forward two weeks later and she meets her husband and father of her children. So, it worked out for her just fine. Me however, the next relationship after that was very...weird. Like even for me. But, that one helped me to learn that dating older women just doesn't work for me.
I actually saw her one day not too long before I moved to Austin. She was in the store and looking old. Gray hairs and all. She just didn't look like the youthful person that I had locked in my memories. She looked like her mother, and that was scary a bit. I could literally say that the image I have for her in my mind was half a lifetime ago.
I like to think that if it ever could happen, I could get to see the lives of everyone that I interacted with after I die. I'd be a ghost viewing their life, either in real time or with the fast forward button not too far away. I could see what happened when we were together, or when I was friends with people because I don't want to limit this ability to just ex-girlfriends, and I can just dance around in their time stream. There is just something about being a ghost in that way that isn't haunting the person, it is more a way of seeing the person completely, from their point of view, and understanding them. A shame that it would have to be after I died, but still.
As this album plays on, I keep getting flashes of memories and I'm getting energized. This album really picked things up and rocked to me then as it does now. Everyone has their music, guess mine is just a little strange like everyone else's.
Friday, May 13, 2016
Childhood Friends and The Dreams We Had
If I reached out to old elementary school friends, would any of them reach back? Probably not, and it would be weird to reach out to them after all.
I didn't grow up in Bloomington during my early years, so if anyone outside of my family knew any of them I would be greatly surprised. If I somehow ran in to them today, that would be a tale to tell.
From Shiloh Elementary where I spent Kindergarten, I remember Tiffany Morris. She was my first crush that I could remember. She was blonde, and liked me back. I remember hanging out with her in class a lot. I had the afternoon class at the school.
My mother helped deliver Avon catalogs and roped us kids in to taking them to people's doors. We went down the end of a cul-de-sac and ran in to her outside of school. It must have been the summer time, because I vaguely recall us talking about being in first grade together. We talked standing across from each other and held both our outstretched hands together. We had to say our good byes and that was the last time I ever saw her since I moved to a different town the next school year.
Jump ship to Fairview Heights. That was a small stretch of time living on Lincoln Highway. The memories.
I went to elementary school from 1st until a few weeks in to the 6th grade at William Holiday. I realize now that was almost 30 years ago. I am old.
Some big friends from that time are countless. I wish I could go through a yearbook and just veg out on trying to see how everyone turned out. But how would I know it really is them?
Fast forward to 6th grade spent at Jefferson Elementary in Belleville Illinois. It was one year there with lots of new friend making. I then moved on to junior high at West for 9 weeks, then the move to Bloomington happened. And yes, starting out in a new junior high is just as much fun as it sounds with the awkward kids and puberty and all that is junior high.
I don't have anyone to reach out to who shares the memories of my time growing up there besides my siblings and my mother. If I ever lose my memory.... Some time I will have to sit and start writing out everything I remember about them and my time growing up there. Those memories that are ingrained in to your being. That you wouldn't be you without them. Who knows how many of them are already lost. Maybe I should play catch up with the siblings to talk it out and see what they remember.
Thirty years have passed. That is freaky to think about.
I didn't grow up in Bloomington during my early years, so if anyone outside of my family knew any of them I would be greatly surprised. If I somehow ran in to them today, that would be a tale to tell.
From Shiloh Elementary where I spent Kindergarten, I remember Tiffany Morris. She was my first crush that I could remember. She was blonde, and liked me back. I remember hanging out with her in class a lot. I had the afternoon class at the school.
My mother helped deliver Avon catalogs and roped us kids in to taking them to people's doors. We went down the end of a cul-de-sac and ran in to her outside of school. It must have been the summer time, because I vaguely recall us talking about being in first grade together. We talked standing across from each other and held both our outstretched hands together. We had to say our good byes and that was the last time I ever saw her since I moved to a different town the next school year.
Jump ship to Fairview Heights. That was a small stretch of time living on Lincoln Highway. The memories.
I went to elementary school from 1st until a few weeks in to the 6th grade at William Holiday. I realize now that was almost 30 years ago. I am old.
Some big friends from that time are countless. I wish I could go through a yearbook and just veg out on trying to see how everyone turned out. But how would I know it really is them?
Fast forward to 6th grade spent at Jefferson Elementary in Belleville Illinois. It was one year there with lots of new friend making. I then moved on to junior high at West for 9 weeks, then the move to Bloomington happened. And yes, starting out in a new junior high is just as much fun as it sounds with the awkward kids and puberty and all that is junior high.
I don't have anyone to reach out to who shares the memories of my time growing up there besides my siblings and my mother. If I ever lose my memory.... Some time I will have to sit and start writing out everything I remember about them and my time growing up there. Those memories that are ingrained in to your being. That you wouldn't be you without them. Who knows how many of them are already lost. Maybe I should play catch up with the siblings to talk it out and see what they remember.
Thirty years have passed. That is freaky to think about.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Getting Ink Done
I'm ready for my next tattoo.
There are a couple I've been deciding on, and either will reflect my inner nerd. The first is a pale blue dot on my wrist, just like how earth looks like from space as described by Carl Sagan. The second is a Pac-man tattoo that would wrap around my leg.
I'm a fan of tattoos. I have four of them myself. My plan was never really to get any, but interest and opportunity caused me to jump ahead and go for it. The first one was when I was living in BloNo, maybe around age 22 or so. I got a Nine Inch Nails logo tattooed on my back. The design was pulled from their live album that they released that I had been listening to non-stop. I went with my friend Alex and his lady at the time, Nadine. It didn't take long and I had fun doing it. It was in Champaign where they were going to college.
The second time I got two in one. It was also in Champaign but his time was with my friend Chris. He was getting work done a huge tattoo that would take up half of his back. That was something I could never do, so I opted to get one on each shoulder instead. On my right shoulder is a bio hazard symbol that was taken from the cover of a Desolation Jones comic book done by Warren Ellis. To balance it out, I got a tattoo from another comic book on my left shoulder. This one was from a Grendel comic that featured his face-mask. Both aren't that big, and set me back about $120 at the time. The first one was only $60. The second two were also done in Champaign, coincidentally right around the corner from where I got my first one. The guy who did my second one was named Lunchbox because, and get this, he collected lunch boxes and had them on display around his station.
The fourth tattoo was done on the back of my right leg. This one was done with my friend Chris, as we both decided that we were going to be nerds together and get the same tattoo from the same thing we both loved, or at least we would thematically match. That we did, as we chose an image from the comic book Watchmen. Chris got a bust of Rorschach with a quote underneath it. Meanwhile, I got one that was just his face-mask that contained a bunch of blobs. It was the one tattoo I have that others could see whenever I wore shorts, so I would get asked a lot about what it was supposed to be. Sometimes I dive in to the nerd level of it, while other times I just say it is an ink blot test. I get crazed looks with either explanation.
That was one of my things, never getting anything that would be seen by others. That would be easily covered up. I don't know why, as it seems society is now more accepting of it. Just a personal preference I guess. Unless I get the pale blue dot on my wrist, then it will be pretty out there and in the open.
There are a couple I've been deciding on, and either will reflect my inner nerd. The first is a pale blue dot on my wrist, just like how earth looks like from space as described by Carl Sagan. The second is a Pac-man tattoo that would wrap around my leg.
I'm a fan of tattoos. I have four of them myself. My plan was never really to get any, but interest and opportunity caused me to jump ahead and go for it. The first one was when I was living in BloNo, maybe around age 22 or so. I got a Nine Inch Nails logo tattooed on my back. The design was pulled from their live album that they released that I had been listening to non-stop. I went with my friend Alex and his lady at the time, Nadine. It didn't take long and I had fun doing it. It was in Champaign where they were going to college.
The second time I got two in one. It was also in Champaign but his time was with my friend Chris. He was getting work done a huge tattoo that would take up half of his back. That was something I could never do, so I opted to get one on each shoulder instead. On my right shoulder is a bio hazard symbol that was taken from the cover of a Desolation Jones comic book done by Warren Ellis. To balance it out, I got a tattoo from another comic book on my left shoulder. This one was from a Grendel comic that featured his face-mask. Both aren't that big, and set me back about $120 at the time. The first one was only $60. The second two were also done in Champaign, coincidentally right around the corner from where I got my first one. The guy who did my second one was named Lunchbox because, and get this, he collected lunch boxes and had them on display around his station.
The fourth tattoo was done on the back of my right leg. This one was done with my friend Chris, as we both decided that we were going to be nerds together and get the same tattoo from the same thing we both loved, or at least we would thematically match. That we did, as we chose an image from the comic book Watchmen. Chris got a bust of Rorschach with a quote underneath it. Meanwhile, I got one that was just his face-mask that contained a bunch of blobs. It was the one tattoo I have that others could see whenever I wore shorts, so I would get asked a lot about what it was supposed to be. Sometimes I dive in to the nerd level of it, while other times I just say it is an ink blot test. I get crazed looks with either explanation.
That was one of my things, never getting anything that would be seen by others. That would be easily covered up. I don't know why, as it seems society is now more accepting of it. Just a personal preference I guess. Unless I get the pale blue dot on my wrist, then it will be pretty out there and in the open.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
A Comedian Walks In To A Club
Comedians can make the most sense when it comes to social commentary. Give the right one the right platform, and they can entice society for the better a roomful of laughter at a time.
I've always felt that listening to comedians made more sense than listening to the newscasters. Great comedians have the ability to analyze a societal situation, explain it in terms that can appeal to large audiences, and show them that they can laugh at it.
In a class at Heartland one time, I remember arguing that comedy is the way to get people to understand something new about society. Make people laugh at it, show them that it can be made fun of, and it will pass the OK test. Gay characters started coming out in TV and movies, and as long as we could laugh at them, it made it easy to sneak in a little bit of knowledge about people who are different - that they are all just like us.
George Carlin once said that there is a thing he looks for, when a laughing person gets it. When the realization hits that they are learning something, and seeing it for the first time.
Some studies have been done to determine why we laugh. Scientists say it is because our brain is reacting to something we don't understand, so it tells your body to laugh. That little bit of absurdity is needed to really deliver the punchline of knowledge.
I watched a Jon Stewart video last night and it was about his take on the recent political landscape. The interviewer was trying desperately to pull any and all information from him on various subjects, and at times it felt like he was forcing Stewart to say something. One of Stewart's points was that there is enough social commentary out there from other comedians who are doing a great job on that themselves. He is right, as there are many former cast members of the Daily Show spread out that are doing their own brand of comedy that is hitting on all fronts. There is a diverse number of comedic voices out there to listen to, and you have to open your mind to their ideas, one laugh at a time.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Tuesday Status: Lame
I am still in a weird state where I don't know if I am on some sort of permanent vacation, or if I am living life. Things are still so new to me. Some days I am still astonished that I am here, that I moved on.
Today's walk was a short one. I took some time the past couple of days to run a lot more during my walks then actually walk. I'm trying to build myself up so that one day I can try taking parkour classes. There is a magic to it that appeals to me. To be able to direct yourself through the city landscape by traversing the lesser known path that you are forging in the moment.
There is a place that you can take classes at here in town. The same building also offers lightsaber training. Hell, why not be ready for both? That would be an interesting date idea.
I've been thinking about places to go for dates, because that is something that seems to be in my peripheral. I'm sure I'm cursing myself by discussing it, but it inevitably will happen. I'm not sure how to approach it, but maybe someday. Maybe someday. That's the two weakest words to describe something. There is something that lacks so much confidence in two words. Very passive.
I'm doing some more creative writing tonight, as I was struck with an idea today that needs a little fleshing out. I also need to work on my special poem for my friend. Also, I have ebay things to list. And books to read. Sleep? Bah.
Today's walk was a short one. I took some time the past couple of days to run a lot more during my walks then actually walk. I'm trying to build myself up so that one day I can try taking parkour classes. There is a magic to it that appeals to me. To be able to direct yourself through the city landscape by traversing the lesser known path that you are forging in the moment.
There is a place that you can take classes at here in town. The same building also offers lightsaber training. Hell, why not be ready for both? That would be an interesting date idea.
I've been thinking about places to go for dates, because that is something that seems to be in my peripheral. I'm sure I'm cursing myself by discussing it, but it inevitably will happen. I'm not sure how to approach it, but maybe someday. Maybe someday. That's the two weakest words to describe something. There is something that lacks so much confidence in two words. Very passive.
I'm doing some more creative writing tonight, as I was struck with an idea today that needs a little fleshing out. I also need to work on my special poem for my friend. Also, I have ebay things to list. And books to read. Sleep? Bah.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Music Talents of a Left Footed Spider
I don't know if I have any musical talent. I've always said that my brother took it for our entire family, as he can play just about any instrument that he can pick up.
In grade school, I played the recorder like everyone else. It was a crappy little piece of plastic that could barely keep a note. Mary Had a Little Lamb was the extent of songs learned by me. Three notes, if that, and I could carry it for 15 seconds. Whew.
Flash forward to the time that guitar playing sounded like a good idea. Bought one from my brother who said to play it every day. He also said that masturbation helps build arm muscles for playing. That thing sat under my bed after the first couple of times that I attempted to practice. I learned a little bit of a Green Day intro and a Tool intro and that was about it.
Fast forward again to the time me and my brother went in on a set of drums. They got played once or twice and that was it. They were just too loud for me and trying to find a place to practice when I was living in student housing just wasn't going to happen.
Then along came Rock Band and Guitar Hero. The Guitar Hero side of things took some practice, and I was at least able to play some guitar stuff on hard difficulty. I was trying to play the game too much instead of listening to the music and letting that guide me. Then again, it was a video game. Rock Band was actually different. While it was definite that I couldn't sing, and years of trying to karaoke proved that as well, I did find some comfort in the bass playing and in the drums. I got to the point in drums that I was playing the hard difficulty, which is damn near impossible for some people, and I was getting OK at it.
My greatest time on Rock Band outside of playing with friends was when I got 3 stars on a Nine Inch Nails song on the second to hardest difficulty. It was already a tough, difficult song, but I made it work. I was proud and happy for that moment. It drove me to keep playing it and to practice practice practice. I got used to the foot peddle and was really happy when I was at a friend's place playing along with the band and I took on the drums. I ruled. A friend made a comment to her husband that I was pretty good on the drums and he agreed. My face was all lit up with joy and excitement while I still played on.
My video game stuff has been in storage since I moved down to Austin, but I still get the urge to break out the band stuff and play some more. There is something freeing about it. Something that really works for me when it comes to the drums or to the bass. A grove for the bass and the ability to hit something with the drums. Could that translate to real instruments? I would have to be taught. A lot. Between wanting to learn that and other things I want to do around this town, the time to sit and practice looks grim. Then again, doesn't every old man have to know how to play one instrument to really stand out? Breaking out a bass jam would be awesome, but how about rocking on the drums at 70? An aging man can only dream.
In grade school, I played the recorder like everyone else. It was a crappy little piece of plastic that could barely keep a note. Mary Had a Little Lamb was the extent of songs learned by me. Three notes, if that, and I could carry it for 15 seconds. Whew.
Flash forward to the time that guitar playing sounded like a good idea. Bought one from my brother who said to play it every day. He also said that masturbation helps build arm muscles for playing. That thing sat under my bed after the first couple of times that I attempted to practice. I learned a little bit of a Green Day intro and a Tool intro and that was about it.
Fast forward again to the time me and my brother went in on a set of drums. They got played once or twice and that was it. They were just too loud for me and trying to find a place to practice when I was living in student housing just wasn't going to happen.
Then along came Rock Band and Guitar Hero. The Guitar Hero side of things took some practice, and I was at least able to play some guitar stuff on hard difficulty. I was trying to play the game too much instead of listening to the music and letting that guide me. Then again, it was a video game. Rock Band was actually different. While it was definite that I couldn't sing, and years of trying to karaoke proved that as well, I did find some comfort in the bass playing and in the drums. I got to the point in drums that I was playing the hard difficulty, which is damn near impossible for some people, and I was getting OK at it.
My greatest time on Rock Band outside of playing with friends was when I got 3 stars on a Nine Inch Nails song on the second to hardest difficulty. It was already a tough, difficult song, but I made it work. I was proud and happy for that moment. It drove me to keep playing it and to practice practice practice. I got used to the foot peddle and was really happy when I was at a friend's place playing along with the band and I took on the drums. I ruled. A friend made a comment to her husband that I was pretty good on the drums and he agreed. My face was all lit up with joy and excitement while I still played on.
My video game stuff has been in storage since I moved down to Austin, but I still get the urge to break out the band stuff and play some more. There is something freeing about it. Something that really works for me when it comes to the drums or to the bass. A grove for the bass and the ability to hit something with the drums. Could that translate to real instruments? I would have to be taught. A lot. Between wanting to learn that and other things I want to do around this town, the time to sit and practice looks grim. Then again, doesn't every old man have to know how to play one instrument to really stand out? Breaking out a bass jam would be awesome, but how about rocking on the drums at 70? An aging man can only dream.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Today's Planned Events That Probably Won't Happen
So I let it slip out yesterday that I am writing a poem about a friend of mine, one Eric Braun.
This is going to be fantastic.
There is nickname I gave him that I know he loathes me for ever speaking it aloud - Brauny Bear. I don't know what the inspiration was for it at the moment, but it came out one day and it has stuck in my mind. The best part was convincing his girlfriend to call him that when they were behind closed doors. No report back yet as to if that happened.
I can't remember the last time I wrote anything poetic, so this has been a bit of a task so far. I will say that what I have is pretty funny, but it probably is the something that I find funny to myself. When writing it, I imagine a little something like Tim Curry singing it to him. In fact, if I ever get the courage to sing it, it will be done in that way.
Today's events are taking me to my storage unit. I am going to retrieve some comics that I will be putting up on ebay this week. I also will be on the south end of town to hang out with my friend Gale while he has a cook out at his place. His place will eventually become my place as well, and that will happen when his soon to be ex wife and him settle their divorce.
Today's first meal will be mac n cheese, because I am a grown up who doesn't know the limits to their body's desires. Today also is mother's day, so I will have to give a shout out to my mom at some point. I don't want to do it over social media, as I find the many thousand of other friends doing it weird and annoying.
And with nothing else to write about for now, I leave with a short salutation.
This is going to be fantastic.
There is nickname I gave him that I know he loathes me for ever speaking it aloud - Brauny Bear. I don't know what the inspiration was for it at the moment, but it came out one day and it has stuck in my mind. The best part was convincing his girlfriend to call him that when they were behind closed doors. No report back yet as to if that happened.
I can't remember the last time I wrote anything poetic, so this has been a bit of a task so far. I will say that what I have is pretty funny, but it probably is the something that I find funny to myself. When writing it, I imagine a little something like Tim Curry singing it to him. In fact, if I ever get the courage to sing it, it will be done in that way.
Today's events are taking me to my storage unit. I am going to retrieve some comics that I will be putting up on ebay this week. I also will be on the south end of town to hang out with my friend Gale while he has a cook out at his place. His place will eventually become my place as well, and that will happen when his soon to be ex wife and him settle their divorce.
Today's first meal will be mac n cheese, because I am a grown up who doesn't know the limits to their body's desires. Today also is mother's day, so I will have to give a shout out to my mom at some point. I don't want to do it over social media, as I find the many thousand of other friends doing it weird and annoying.
And with nothing else to write about for now, I leave with a short salutation.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Walking Today
Today's writing will probably be short, as I am going on an adventure to the outside world. Taking a break from the one in my head and seeing what Austin has to offer. I will be clad in a Zelda shirt, shorts, backpack, and writing journal.
My adventure is leading me towards a movie theater where I will partake in the latest Marvel movie. I hear it is good and expect it to be beyond my wildest expectations. In other words, it doesn't have much wiggle room for failure.
I'm not sure yet what music will be filling my ears, but I am rocking out to 90s alternative right now so I may just let it fly and see what happens.
Someday I'll go back and really read the lyrics to some of my favorite songs. I don't pay attention to words so much as I do the music, so I may be in for a surprise or two.
Leaving an idea here - when I publish a book, collect a bunch of postcards and write a line from the book on them. As fan messages or critics write in or review, send a postcard their way with the line from the book. If done right, this would mean that the postcards stop when all the lines from the book have been written and sent out.
My adventure is leading me towards a movie theater where I will partake in the latest Marvel movie. I hear it is good and expect it to be beyond my wildest expectations. In other words, it doesn't have much wiggle room for failure.
I'm not sure yet what music will be filling my ears, but I am rocking out to 90s alternative right now so I may just let it fly and see what happens.
Someday I'll go back and really read the lyrics to some of my favorite songs. I don't pay attention to words so much as I do the music, so I may be in for a surprise or two.
Leaving an idea here - when I publish a book, collect a bunch of postcards and write a line from the book on them. As fan messages or critics write in or review, send a postcard their way with the line from the book. If done right, this would mean that the postcards stop when all the lines from the book have been written and sent out.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
I've Got a Bad Feeling About This
Am I a true Star Wars nerd?
Some back ground is needed, so here is comes.
My first Star Wars memory comes from visiting my aunt's house. My cousin Bobby was a year older than me and was probably responsible for getting me in to New Kids on The Block, Michael Jackson, Beach Boys, and playing Star Wars in the background on one visit.
The memory is very hazy, but I recall my cousin watching it on TV in the living room. I was in the dining room but there is an open floor plan meaning no walls separated us. I vaguely recall Han Solo and Darth Vader on the screen and that is about it.
I grew up on Star Trek. The Next Generation, specifically. I think I had always heard about Star Wars, but it was something that strangely was at an arm's distance to me. Then I encountered my gateway drug for cardboard crack in Magic The Gathering.
Playing Magic meant going to downtown Normal for Surge and good times at Gamer's Haven. It was in the basement of this store that I encountered my first general playing area for a game store, and it was a second home to me. Eventually Gamer's Haven joined up with a computer game store a few shops down called Cyberi@. They called themselves Cyberi@, the Gamer's Haven. It fit, and it allowed for card playing events.
Magic was big, but there were other games that rose up in popularity. I remember a Lord of the Rings game, and Legend of the Five Rings. Star Trek had a customizable card game similar to Magic, but it was the Star Wars game that really took me in.
The play mechanics were spectacular. Different enough from Magic but a good game in it's own right. It helped that my friend Nate was also big in to it as well. You could play as the light side or the dark side, and we would play test decks out with each other all the time.
For a while, packs of Star Wars were better than getting Magic cards, but I still played both games. I learned all the side characters and all the special quotes from the movies from this card game, and I still hadn't seen the movies. I knew the spoilers, I knew the general story, I had even gotten a bit in to the video games. The movies just never made it in to my vision.
That was, until, the Special Editions came out. I finally had a chance to see them in all their glory, and I had to see them before Episode 1 came out. When I finally did, I was hooked. A lot of the card game really started to show as I was able to quote the movie while I was watching it the first time. I think that was when I really learned that being spoiled to a movie will make it a better experience.
I was one of those who bought tons of the lightsaber toys when episode 1 came out. I was one of those who brought the lightsabers to the movie theater and fought a friend with them inside the theater while we waited in line. Fast forward to waiting in line for Episode 7 and the theater posting that people couldn't wear their costumes inside the theater because they could hide something in the robes. Bah to that nonsense.
So am I a true Star Wars nerd? I don't know. Is someone whose only exposure to certain comic book characters is from the movies a comics fan? What if they start reading the books, are they not a true fan then?
I've held the belief that you are a fan however you become one. It doesn't matter the journey that brought you to it, it is now a part of your world and you are enjoying it. Real fans, fake fans, there is no really way to measure the degree of fandom because we are talking about works of art, and art can be interpreted by everyone differently.
Some back ground is needed, so here is comes.
My first Star Wars memory comes from visiting my aunt's house. My cousin Bobby was a year older than me and was probably responsible for getting me in to New Kids on The Block, Michael Jackson, Beach Boys, and playing Star Wars in the background on one visit.
The memory is very hazy, but I recall my cousin watching it on TV in the living room. I was in the dining room but there is an open floor plan meaning no walls separated us. I vaguely recall Han Solo and Darth Vader on the screen and that is about it.
I grew up on Star Trek. The Next Generation, specifically. I think I had always heard about Star Wars, but it was something that strangely was at an arm's distance to me. Then I encountered my gateway drug for cardboard crack in Magic The Gathering.
Playing Magic meant going to downtown Normal for Surge and good times at Gamer's Haven. It was in the basement of this store that I encountered my first general playing area for a game store, and it was a second home to me. Eventually Gamer's Haven joined up with a computer game store a few shops down called Cyberi@. They called themselves Cyberi@, the Gamer's Haven. It fit, and it allowed for card playing events.
Magic was big, but there were other games that rose up in popularity. I remember a Lord of the Rings game, and Legend of the Five Rings. Star Trek had a customizable card game similar to Magic, but it was the Star Wars game that really took me in.
The play mechanics were spectacular. Different enough from Magic but a good game in it's own right. It helped that my friend Nate was also big in to it as well. You could play as the light side or the dark side, and we would play test decks out with each other all the time.
For a while, packs of Star Wars were better than getting Magic cards, but I still played both games. I learned all the side characters and all the special quotes from the movies from this card game, and I still hadn't seen the movies. I knew the spoilers, I knew the general story, I had even gotten a bit in to the video games. The movies just never made it in to my vision.
That was, until, the Special Editions came out. I finally had a chance to see them in all their glory, and I had to see them before Episode 1 came out. When I finally did, I was hooked. A lot of the card game really started to show as I was able to quote the movie while I was watching it the first time. I think that was when I really learned that being spoiled to a movie will make it a better experience.
I was one of those who bought tons of the lightsaber toys when episode 1 came out. I was one of those who brought the lightsabers to the movie theater and fought a friend with them inside the theater while we waited in line. Fast forward to waiting in line for Episode 7 and the theater posting that people couldn't wear their costumes inside the theater because they could hide something in the robes. Bah to that nonsense.
So am I a true Star Wars nerd? I don't know. Is someone whose only exposure to certain comic book characters is from the movies a comics fan? What if they start reading the books, are they not a true fan then?
I've held the belief that you are a fan however you become one. It doesn't matter the journey that brought you to it, it is now a part of your world and you are enjoying it. Real fans, fake fans, there is no really way to measure the degree of fandom because we are talking about works of art, and art can be interpreted by everyone differently.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
We're All Stories In The End
Even if I managed to watch an entry a day, or an episode a day, from my Netflix queue, it would still take me a decade to watch everything.
This isn't a problem, this is me checking off the fact that I don't have to go out to find some entertainment if I don't want to. Not that being outdoors is a bad thing.
I have Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime racking up some large numbers in the To Be Watched department. Throw in some YouTube channels I follow and my entertainment world is in overload. The sad news is that even though I watched a bunch during my extended unemployment time, it didn't make too much of a dent in the collection.
In the queues are several TV shows that will take up a lot of time. Many of them are just waiting for me to find some time to binge watch them, but I really know is that if I get caught up on a series then that will be my series until completed. See the recent example of season 5 of Louie. I sat down thinking I would watch an episode or two and I went through 6 before I stopped to pick it up another night. That next night I ended up finishing them.
When something is good, I just want to consume it all. Between TV now and books... Books are something that I'm finding out about again. In particular, I'm being drawn to the collection archived editions of old comics. Usagi Yojimbo was a series I always heard was good, so I finally broke down and got the first book. Then the Saga editions came out that collection huge amounts of the series in one. I'm now in the middle of Book 5. Compare that to the Complete Case Files of Judge Dredd that I'm on book 10 for and you see where this is going.
There is something about seeing the whole story, knowing there is a direction or an end that you can get to now instead of waiting to see it all. When you wait, there are parts of the story that fall to the wayside. You get to see if the creators of the story had a direction to go in or if it was made up along the way. There is something so much more enjoyable about that to me than just getting an issue of a comic once a month and seeing how the parts go. Or watch an episode a week of a TV show. Fuck that, give it all to me and let me consume.
I have a stack of books that have traveled with me to the new apartment, and they take up a part of each night for me. I need to start mixing in more from the Netflix queue so I can try to get that down. That would be a headline to see - man finishes his Netflix queue just in time for more to be added.
I enjoy seeing stories develop. I enjoy reading them and I enjoy watching them. The different mediums offer so much potential, and watching that, consuming that to the end brings to me the same feeling a chef must have after devouring a meal they slaved over to create. A meal that has reached the right amount of ingredients and flavor combination that works.
Some people say that they prefer to collect experiences over things. Some people would look at my comic collection, Netflix addiction, TV watching, video game collection, and library of books only to scoff at me and say they don't want to collect material objects. To me, they aren't objects, but a guide to other worlds. This isn't fueled by a need to just collect them all, but rather to experience them all. I want to see as many worlds as I can, think of and experience each story coming to life, and then maybe, just maybe, help add to the collective with some works of my own.
This isn't a problem, this is me checking off the fact that I don't have to go out to find some entertainment if I don't want to. Not that being outdoors is a bad thing.
I have Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime racking up some large numbers in the To Be Watched department. Throw in some YouTube channels I follow and my entertainment world is in overload. The sad news is that even though I watched a bunch during my extended unemployment time, it didn't make too much of a dent in the collection.
In the queues are several TV shows that will take up a lot of time. Many of them are just waiting for me to find some time to binge watch them, but I really know is that if I get caught up on a series then that will be my series until completed. See the recent example of season 5 of Louie. I sat down thinking I would watch an episode or two and I went through 6 before I stopped to pick it up another night. That next night I ended up finishing them.
When something is good, I just want to consume it all. Between TV now and books... Books are something that I'm finding out about again. In particular, I'm being drawn to the collection archived editions of old comics. Usagi Yojimbo was a series I always heard was good, so I finally broke down and got the first book. Then the Saga editions came out that collection huge amounts of the series in one. I'm now in the middle of Book 5. Compare that to the Complete Case Files of Judge Dredd that I'm on book 10 for and you see where this is going.
There is something about seeing the whole story, knowing there is a direction or an end that you can get to now instead of waiting to see it all. When you wait, there are parts of the story that fall to the wayside. You get to see if the creators of the story had a direction to go in or if it was made up along the way. There is something so much more enjoyable about that to me than just getting an issue of a comic once a month and seeing how the parts go. Or watch an episode a week of a TV show. Fuck that, give it all to me and let me consume.
I have a stack of books that have traveled with me to the new apartment, and they take up a part of each night for me. I need to start mixing in more from the Netflix queue so I can try to get that down. That would be a headline to see - man finishes his Netflix queue just in time for more to be added.
I enjoy seeing stories develop. I enjoy reading them and I enjoy watching them. The different mediums offer so much potential, and watching that, consuming that to the end brings to me the same feeling a chef must have after devouring a meal they slaved over to create. A meal that has reached the right amount of ingredients and flavor combination that works.
Some people say that they prefer to collect experiences over things. Some people would look at my comic collection, Netflix addiction, TV watching, video game collection, and library of books only to scoff at me and say they don't want to collect material objects. To me, they aren't objects, but a guide to other worlds. This isn't fueled by a need to just collect them all, but rather to experience them all. I want to see as many worlds as I can, think of and experience each story coming to life, and then maybe, just maybe, help add to the collective with some works of my own.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Working At The Mall
My first job was detassling in the corn fields of Illinois. Not as glamorous as you would expect, long days, and just overall not worth it. I forget what I did with the money, as that was $300 I think for a long 2 weeks or so of work.
My first job that I consider my first job was with A&W at College Hills Mall in Normal. You won't find it there any more, as it has been demolished. It was a literal closet. One of those small mall restaurants that had a counter, served maybe 20 items, and had 6 tables to sit at.
The mall was a dying one, but the job had lots of fun points. Most important, I got a couple of my friends jobs there. Nate, my girlfriend BJ for a short while, and Chris. Nate and I went job hunting one Saturday and both filled out an application for there and we both got hired on. My boss was a kind woman named Bonnie that moved like molasses and was not all there.
We had to hand make the root beer every night so it could sit and brew. The walk in cooler to the back was small and was barely a closet. We had to manually do time cards by writing down the times. The register was a register, but it was the soda fountain next to it and the ice cream maker behind your back that really made the place.
I remember cleaning out the fryers there, and burning myself a lot. We made hot dogs, and we would plan it out just right so that an extra dog or two would be left at the end of the night so that it could be a free dinner that was counted as "waste." We didn't get a break, except when either Nate or BJ would visit and they could watch the front. I remember making ice cream floats with sprite instead of root beer, and it was delicious. There was a janitor team there, with the one guy a complete drunk and the woman just a drama queen. I think his name was Dave.
There was our co-worker names Jimmy. Big guy, not too smart, but he was slightly older, a relative of Bonnie, and did his job. We all usually worked alone, except for crossover times as well as busy Saturdays or Sundays.
The mall was a dying mall. It isn't around today, and was leveled for an open air mall. I used to live right across the street, so I walked to work every day. We would have to walk the night deposits and drop them off at the bank that was on the walk home.
There was a crappy, sneaky, lying manager named Chad. He looked and acted like a weasel. I'm glad he wasn't there long before he was fired. He didn't do anything wrong to me, he just looked like a weasel and made the employees do all the work while he stood around. If the situation was fast-forwarded to today, he would be the manager hanging on the cell phone the entire time while directing you that that bathrooms need extra cleaning that night while he brings his family of 3 step kids and a yelling wife in for the "extra waste food" that was prepared fresh.
I spent the money I made, never saving a dime. I used it to buy my own lunches at school, as well as comic and other nerd stuff. Sometimes my lunch would consist of ice cream sandwiches, bread, or water.
The uniform was polo shirts, sometime t-shirts, and a stupid hat. The clothes always smelled. I still have some of the promo bears that we had, the uniform of some sort, and some other memorabilia from it.
There was a time when that place was my life. I had that job, a cool girlfriend, worked with my best friends, and then hung out with peeps when I could. I was getting in to theater as well around then, and it all seemed awesome. Eventually the girlfriend went away. Another job came up. For a while, I was working two jobs and going to school. Eventually that broke, and quitting was the only option. I have never been fired from a job. It felt like I was leaving a special family, but this was expected after I had started to work at Steak n Shake. That was a completely different world that opened my eyes up even more to the world of restaurants.
I can't remember the last time I ate there. The mall faded so fast and so quick, it was amazing that it didn't close shop up sooner. But that was the town I grew up in, a place where people were there to go.
Steak n Shake. Now there is a much longer, much denser story to unfold one day.
My first job that I consider my first job was with A&W at College Hills Mall in Normal. You won't find it there any more, as it has been demolished. It was a literal closet. One of those small mall restaurants that had a counter, served maybe 20 items, and had 6 tables to sit at.
The mall was a dying one, but the job had lots of fun points. Most important, I got a couple of my friends jobs there. Nate, my girlfriend BJ for a short while, and Chris. Nate and I went job hunting one Saturday and both filled out an application for there and we both got hired on. My boss was a kind woman named Bonnie that moved like molasses and was not all there.
We had to hand make the root beer every night so it could sit and brew. The walk in cooler to the back was small and was barely a closet. We had to manually do time cards by writing down the times. The register was a register, but it was the soda fountain next to it and the ice cream maker behind your back that really made the place.
I remember cleaning out the fryers there, and burning myself a lot. We made hot dogs, and we would plan it out just right so that an extra dog or two would be left at the end of the night so that it could be a free dinner that was counted as "waste." We didn't get a break, except when either Nate or BJ would visit and they could watch the front. I remember making ice cream floats with sprite instead of root beer, and it was delicious. There was a janitor team there, with the one guy a complete drunk and the woman just a drama queen. I think his name was Dave.
There was our co-worker names Jimmy. Big guy, not too smart, but he was slightly older, a relative of Bonnie, and did his job. We all usually worked alone, except for crossover times as well as busy Saturdays or Sundays.
The mall was a dying mall. It isn't around today, and was leveled for an open air mall. I used to live right across the street, so I walked to work every day. We would have to walk the night deposits and drop them off at the bank that was on the walk home.
There was a crappy, sneaky, lying manager named Chad. He looked and acted like a weasel. I'm glad he wasn't there long before he was fired. He didn't do anything wrong to me, he just looked like a weasel and made the employees do all the work while he stood around. If the situation was fast-forwarded to today, he would be the manager hanging on the cell phone the entire time while directing you that that bathrooms need extra cleaning that night while he brings his family of 3 step kids and a yelling wife in for the "extra waste food" that was prepared fresh.
I spent the money I made, never saving a dime. I used it to buy my own lunches at school, as well as comic and other nerd stuff. Sometimes my lunch would consist of ice cream sandwiches, bread, or water.
The uniform was polo shirts, sometime t-shirts, and a stupid hat. The clothes always smelled. I still have some of the promo bears that we had, the uniform of some sort, and some other memorabilia from it.
There was a time when that place was my life. I had that job, a cool girlfriend, worked with my best friends, and then hung out with peeps when I could. I was getting in to theater as well around then, and it all seemed awesome. Eventually the girlfriend went away. Another job came up. For a while, I was working two jobs and going to school. Eventually that broke, and quitting was the only option. I have never been fired from a job. It felt like I was leaving a special family, but this was expected after I had started to work at Steak n Shake. That was a completely different world that opened my eyes up even more to the world of restaurants.
I can't remember the last time I ate there. The mall faded so fast and so quick, it was amazing that it didn't close shop up sooner. But that was the town I grew up in, a place where people were there to go.
Steak n Shake. Now there is a much longer, much denser story to unfold one day.
Monday, May 2, 2016
My Love For Russia.
USSR. Soviets. I'm just in to weird Russian stuff.
I can't say exactly where this fanaticism started. I'm not a communist, and I'm not in to the whole WW2 thing behind them. Maybe it stems from seeing so much about them as being the enemy that it just made it interesting.
They were our space competitors. They owned a color all to themselves. There was just something...intriguing.
Tatu. Maybe that was it. Russian pop duo with lesbian overtones. But there was something more about the culture, about a people that were our rivals for so long that if things were a little bit different, then maybe we would have been exploring our creative minds for generations to come.
I look things like Russian Bus Stops. They are just so fascinating to me. I've read articles and am seriously giving thought to buying a book about them.
It is different from the cold weather. From the vodka. From the language that sounds so harsh, and so depressed at the same time.
One of the places I visited in Austin was The Russian House, a restaurant that had two head chefs with family recipes from Russia that they brought to the US. The food was delicious.
It is like looking at the opposite side of the coin. America could have been like this. It is an alternate timeline that is just depressed and decaying away. There is some beauty in the architecture. There is some beauty in the people and customs.
If I were born a lifetime ago, I would have learned Russian. If I had the chance while growing up, I would have studied abroad in Russia.
I really can't put my finger on it. Female Russian accents are just to die for. They are a weird music to my ear like Norah Jones' voice. When I heard that ScarJo was going to be Black Widow, the combination of red hair, Russian accent, and ScarJo just sent me in to a tizzy. It was a trifecta of beauty.
Watchmen dealt with tensions with the USSR. I remember maps in my school growing up that had either USSR or Russia on it, showing just how much the teaching materials were out of date. It was intriguing to me.
I may never know what it is that really gets me about it, but I'm enjoying cooking Russian food, eating Russian food, and drinking Russian vodka. I'm going to continue to be intrigued by everyday Russian living and seeing the strange cultural reflection whenever I learn more about it.
I can't say exactly where this fanaticism started. I'm not a communist, and I'm not in to the whole WW2 thing behind them. Maybe it stems from seeing so much about them as being the enemy that it just made it interesting.
They were our space competitors. They owned a color all to themselves. There was just something...intriguing.
Tatu. Maybe that was it. Russian pop duo with lesbian overtones. But there was something more about the culture, about a people that were our rivals for so long that if things were a little bit different, then maybe we would have been exploring our creative minds for generations to come.
I look things like Russian Bus Stops. They are just so fascinating to me. I've read articles and am seriously giving thought to buying a book about them.
It is different from the cold weather. From the vodka. From the language that sounds so harsh, and so depressed at the same time.
One of the places I visited in Austin was The Russian House, a restaurant that had two head chefs with family recipes from Russia that they brought to the US. The food was delicious.
It is like looking at the opposite side of the coin. America could have been like this. It is an alternate timeline that is just depressed and decaying away. There is some beauty in the architecture. There is some beauty in the people and customs.
If I were born a lifetime ago, I would have learned Russian. If I had the chance while growing up, I would have studied abroad in Russia.
I really can't put my finger on it. Female Russian accents are just to die for. They are a weird music to my ear like Norah Jones' voice. When I heard that ScarJo was going to be Black Widow, the combination of red hair, Russian accent, and ScarJo just sent me in to a tizzy. It was a trifecta of beauty.
Watchmen dealt with tensions with the USSR. I remember maps in my school growing up that had either USSR or Russia on it, showing just how much the teaching materials were out of date. It was intriguing to me.
I may never know what it is that really gets me about it, but I'm enjoying cooking Russian food, eating Russian food, and drinking Russian vodka. I'm going to continue to be intrigued by everyday Russian living and seeing the strange cultural reflection whenever I learn more about it.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Ordering a Beer in an Empty Theater
Going out to the movie theater is just a whole new experience in Austin. The concept of a sit and eat dinner while watching the movie was just landing in BloNo before I had left, but here is where it was perfected.
Just laughed my way through Keanu, which is as funny as it should be. I caught myself looking in the background more often than I do with this movie and there are plenty of jokes there that tells me a second viewing will be well worth it.
Ordering a beer while watching a movie is something I've enjoyed since the days of doing it at the Castle Theater in Bloomington. That theater didn't last too long, but the building is still there as a music venue these days. It was a one screen theater, just like you would imagine all the old movie theaters to be. You walk in, with your tickets from a ticketing booth outside, and then take a small set of stairs down in to the theater. There was a bar in the back corner of each side, and you sit on a couch and enjoy the show. There was a small balcony above you that had full dinner service and a better view of the screen. For what it was, it was well worth it to see a movie there. They tried to do more indie movies, or at least second run of films.
The first film I saw there was on a date early on in my relationship with Stacey. The story of how we met is a fun one, and I'm debating switching topics to go there and tell that story.
So we met one night at a party playing a game of Egyptian Rat Screw. I know, rather fancy, right? I had two parties I could attend that night. So, off I went to the wrong one. I knew it was the wrong one because a girl that I was last with was there. We ended in a shitty way on my part, as I couldn't get over the idea that her ex looked very similar to me. I was young, let me be stupid in my decisions. The heart of this story comes from the fact that she was parading around in ass-less pants. Not made that way, but after some customization with a pair of scissors, the ass cheeks were hanging out. She had been drinking a lot more than me and was really leaning in to me/showing me that her ass hung out. I got uncomfortable, so I left.
Party number two was a chill place with some people who all knew each other. I got there and sat down to play Egyptian Rat Screw. This is a card game whose rules have faded from my mind for lack of popularity and playing since that time in my life. There I sat and some drinking commenced. I was dealing, and this girl across from me commented on my dealing style. I have this weird thing I do where I essentially throw the cards out using my left hand. She was also the only other person who called the game by the ERS name, instead of Arabian Rat Fuck that others were calling it. We were also the only two winning the game, if memory serves. I don't know how it happened, but we got to be sitting next to other in a couch in another room and were we just talking all sorts of nerdy things. We exchanged numbers before the night was over, and made plays to hang out again.
We did, and it was over at her place. We played some video games and then started making out in her living room. It was a solid connection. She had family that grew up in Alton, which was a few cities away from where I grew up in southern Illinois. She liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and so that comic eventually got on my local comic shop's pull list so I could buy it for her when it came out. She was a big Nintendo fan, and played Pokemon Puzzle League like I played Doctor Mario. We were some good nerds together.
I was the first real boyfriend she had outside of high school. I was also her first. In terms of the big relationships of my life, the ones that I think really count that you will never forget, she was my third. First was BJ, then Abby, then Stacey. It was my first relationship in a long time, and it probably should have been my last. That's probably one of those alt history fantasies I have brewing up in that last sentence.
I bought her a Gamecube for her birthday. I worked it out with her parents so that they could get games and I could get the system. Her family took my to one of their big family vacations. I had to sleep in a different bed than her, but it worked for me. Her parents let me come to visit and sleep in her bed while she slept on the couch. Let me tell you, you really get a chance to learn about someone when you sleep in their bedroom. You get to be next to all their stuff that was them growing up, share in their memories, and see what is important to them. Ninja Turtle sheets.
We ended, and stop me when you catch the theme here, when I was being a stupid idiot. Here me out, because this is somewhat important. She was about to graduate, and her plans as I saw them, meant that near St. Louis was going to be home for her. I didn't want to go there. I had grew up around there, and it wasn't very appealing to me. I used it as an excuse, as I saw that she was also getting in to World of Warcraft as well, and there had been some weight gain. Again, I will emphasize that I was an idiot with the break up. It does remind me of the general thread I had going at the time, where I foresaw all the problems a future in the relationship could be and I ended up never talking to the girl about it until it was way too late and I made the decision to end things.
For those playing the home game, the next big relationship for me was with Betsy, and then Caitlin after that. So five total of the "big" ones. In the last two, I am glad that things ended the way and when they did. Stacey was the last one where I really was a dumb ass in breaking things off. With her I could be myself, something that I didn't appreciate then. I could go crazy full nerd and there was someone just as smart as me. We could of had a lifetime together of playing games, creating games, her immersing herself in her art and me with my writing. She is, to this date, the only girl that I went on a date with where it consisted of me making pizza rolls, and us reading comics together. If I could take the best bits of each relationship and create the perfect relationship out of it with the perfect girl, then going on that date would be included in that.
Funny side note - not too long after we broke up, I started working at Alexander's Steakhouse. My first night there, a girl named Stacy was having her last night. If you put these two next to each other, you would have been looking at twins. Stacy eventually came back to work there, but I was always amazed at how that worked out on the first night. As to my original thought on this post, the movie that Stacey and I went to see at Castle Theater was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
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